Death Insurance

Are you prepared for your final expenses?  Are you aware it costs $8000 for funeral services?  If not, pay close attention to this offer from Prudential Life Insurance of Danforth, Connecticut.  Do you want to leave your family the burden of taking care of you after you’re gone?  Will you be able to rest knowing the financial cost of your eternal reward will unnecessarily tax your loved ones’ economic well-being.  Do you have the sniffles?  Hard to get to sleep at night?  Do you toss and turn long after your loved one has fallen asleep?  Listen closely to the benefits of a PermaPedic mattress from the Arcadian Somnolence Company of Battle Creek, Michigan.

                Are you worried that the inappropriate relationship you had with your secretary last Valentine’s Day will prompt your loved one to have you cremated and toss you out the driver’s window of her Mercedes Benz S600 AMG when she dumps out her ashtray in the furniture store parking lot?Have you already mortgaged your home to purchase a new 2013 Barack Obama Death Insurance policy? Why worry about that $13,000 deductable?  Your loved one won’t remember that night you spent at the Plaza when it comes time for that life-saving medical procedure.  For added reassurance, we recommend considering our triple guarantee United States Congress Commemorative Death Preventative which virtually guarantees a fifteen per cent discount on prescription medications purchased at any grocery store in the United States other than Kroger, Albertson’s, Publix, Food Lion, or Wal-mart, good at thousands of locations.  All with an industry-leading $9500 deductible.  Don’t go to sleep tonight unprotected.


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